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Tuesday, January 31, 2012, 11:39 AM
20 Things to Start Doing in Your Relationships
Family isn’t always blood. They’re the people in your life who appreciate having you in theirs – the ones who encourage you to improve in healthy and exciting ways, and who not only embrace who you are now, but also embrace and embody who you want to be. These people – your real family – are the ones who truly matter.Here are twenty tips to help you find and foster these special relationships.
1.Free yourself from negative people. – Spend time with nice people who are smart, driven and likeminded. Relationships should help you, not hurt you. Surround yourself with people who reflect the person you want to be. Choose friends who you are proud to know, people you admire, who love and respect you – people who make your day a little brighter simply by being in it. Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. When you free yourself from negative people, you free yourself to be YOU – and being YOU is the only way to truly live. Read Stumbling on Happiness.
2.Let go of those who are already gone. – The sad truth is that there are some people who will only be there for you as long as you have something they need. When you no longer serve a purpose to them, they will leave. The good news is, if you tough it out, you’ll eventually weed these people out of your life and be left with some great people you can count on. We rarely lose friends and lovers, we just gradually figure out who our real ones are. So when people walk away from you, let them go. Your destiny is never tied to anyone who leaves you. It doesn’t mean they are bad people; it just means that their part in your story is over.
3.Give people you don’t know a fair chance. – When you look at a person, any person, remember that everyone has a story. Everyone has gone through something that has changed them, and forced them to grow. Every passing face on the street represents a story every bit as compelling and complicated as yours. We meet no ordinary people in our lives. If you give them a chance, everyone has something amazing to offer. So appreciate the possibility of new relationships as you naturally let go of old ones that no longer work. Trust your judgment. Embrace new relationships, knowing that you are entering into unfamiliar territory. Be ready to learn, be ready for a challenge, and be ready to meet someone that might just change your life forever.
4.Show everyone kindness and respect. – Treat everyone with kindness and respect, even those who are rude to you – not because they are nice, but because you are. There are no boundaries or classes that define a group of people that deserve to be respected. Treat everyone with the same level of respect you would give to your grandfather and the same level of patience you would have with your baby brother. People will notice your kindness.
5.Accept people just the way they are. – In most cases it’s impossible to change them anyway, and it’s rude to try. So save yourself from needless stress. Instead of trying to change others, give them your support and lead by example.
6.Encourage others and cheer for them. – Having an appreciation for how amazing the people around you are leads to good places – productive, fulfilling, peaceful places. So be happy for those who are making progress. Cheer for their victories. Be thankful for their blessings, openly. What goes around comes around, and sooner or later the people you’re cheering for will start cheering for you.
7.Be your imperfectly prefect self. – In this crazy world that’s trying to make you like everyone else, find the courage to keep being your awesome self. And when they laugh at you for being different, laugh back at them for being the same. Spend more time with those who make you smile and less time with those who you feel pressured to impress. Be your imperfectly perfect self around them. We are not perfect for everyone, we are only perfect for those select few people that really take the time to get to know us and love us for who we really are. And to those select few, being our imperfectly perfect self is what they love about us.
8.Forgive people and move forward. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart. You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate. Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.” It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.” Forgiveness is the remedy. It doesn’t mean you’re erasing the past, or forgetting what happened. It means you’re letting go of the resentment and pain, and instead choosing to learn from the incident and move on with your life. Remember, the less time you spend hating the people who hurt you, the more time you’ll have to love the people who love you.
9.Do little things every day for others. – Sometimes those little things occupy the biggest part of their hearts. You can’t be everything to everyone, but you can be everything to a few people. Decide who these people are in your life and treat them like royalty.
10.Pay attention to who your real friends are. – As we grow up, we realize it becomes less important to have more friends and more important to have real ones. Remember, life is kind of like a party. You invite a lot of people, some leave early, some stay all night, some laugh with you, some laugh at you, and some show up really late. But in the end, after the fun, there are a few who stay to help you clean up the mess. And most of the time, they aren’t even the ones who made the mess. These people are your real friends in life. They are the ones who matter most.
11.Always be loyal. – True love and real friendship aren’t about being inseparable. These relationships are about two people being true to each other even when they are separated. When it comes to relationships, remaining faithful is never an option, but a priority. Loyalty is everything.
12.Stay in better touch with people who matter to you. – In human relationships distance is not measured in miles, but in affection. Two people can be right next to each other, yet miles apart. So don’t ignore someone you care about, because lack of concern hurts more than angry words. Stay in touch with those who matter to you. Not because it’s convenient, but because they’re worth the extra effort. Remember, you don’t need a certain number of friends, just a number of friends you can be certain of. Paying attention to these people is a priority.
13.Keep your promises and tell the truth. – If you say you’re going to do something, DO IT! If you say you’re going to be somewhere, BE THERE! If you say you feel something, MEAN IT! If you can’t, won’t, and don’t, then DON’T LIE. It’s always better to tell people the truth up front. Don’t play games with people’s heads and hearts. Don’t tell half-truths and expect people to trust you when the full truth comes out; half-truths are no better than lies. Remember, love and friendship don’t hurt. Lying, cheating and screwing with people’s feelings and emotions hurts. Never mess with someone’s feelings just because you’re unsure of yours. Always be open and honest.
14.Give what you want to receive. – Don’t expect what you are not willing to give. Start practicing the golden rule. If you want love, give love. If you want friends, be friendly. If you want money, provide value. It works. It really is this simple. Read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
15.Say what you mean and mean what you say. – Give the people in your life the information they need, rather than expecting them to know the unknowable. Information is the grease that keeps the engine of communication functioning. Start communicating clearly. Don’t try to read other people’s minds, and don’t make other people try to read yours. Most problems, big and small, within a family, friendship, or business relationship, start with bad communication.
16.Allow others to make their own decisions. – Do not judge others by your own past. They are living a different life than you are. What might be good for one person may not be good for another. What might be bad for one person might change another person’s life for the better. Allow people to make their own mistakes and their own decisions.
17.Talk a little less, and listen more. – Less advice is often the best advice. People don’t need lots of advice, they need a listening ear and some positive reinforcement. What they want to know is often already somewhere inside of them. They just need time to think, be and breathe, and continue to explore the undirected journeys that will eventually help them find their direction.
18.Leave petty arguments alone. – Someone else doesn’t have to be wrong for you to be right. There are many roads to what’s right. And most of the time it just doesn’t matter that much. Read How To Win Friends and Influence People.
19.Ignore unconstructive, hurtful commentary. – No one has the right to judge you. They might have heard your stories, but they didn’t feel what you were going through. No matter what you do, there will always be someone who thinks differently. So concentrate on doing what you know in your heart is right. What most people think and say about you isn’t all that important. What is important is how you feel about yourself.
20.Pay attention to your relationship with yourself. – One of the most painful things in life is losing yourself in the process of loving others too much, and forgetting that you are special too. When was the last time someone told you that they loved you just the way you are, and that what you think and how you feel matters? When was the last time someone told you that you did a good job, or took you someplace, simply because they know you feel happy when you’re there? When was the last time that ‘someone’ was YOU?
Monday, October 10, 2011, 12:05 AM
home
home...the word that made me shed some tears of sorrow this fateful day....to most of the teenagers/young adults out there...
home might be a detestable place to you;
for u detest whatever is going on around at home....
home might be a wonderful place to you;
for u have wonderful family members that supports u all the way...
home might be a shelter to you;
for u to seek shelter amongst the darkest period(s) of ur life...
but
home to me...is nothing...
nothing...
nothing but an empty shell for me to hide from reality for the night...
nothing but 4 walls to look at whenever i step in...
nothing but a dear brother to look after,taking on the role of a mom,dad and bro...
nothing but another burden,a responsibility....
home...doesnt exist...not now...
Monday, June 6, 2011, 8:53 PM
hah i wonder who ever still comes here....nonetheless this is the place i can rant w/o worries...no idea which toes of yours i've stepped upon or were u born out of the wrong goddamn hole... you whine like a pussy, a total mummy's boy, can't even complete a mere 24km march and you even need padding for a vest like a woman....why the f are u in the army?! i wonder if u even have balls.....and who are u to criticise what i do when you are no better???
Seriously....if i don't have rules and laws restricting me now....i'd have made sure u wont want me as your enemy....
Your mouth is as loquacious as an auntie and you act totally like one....complaining every single stuff....urgh....just hope this fri comes and i'll see you NO MORE!
Annoying SOB
Sunday, March 27, 2011, 12:09 AM
People don’t look at your personality first. People judge you automatically by your looks and then try to get to know your personality. But the second they don’t like your looks, they don’t get to know you. That’s how reality is.Honestly, I think I wanna die for a moment, even just for a second or two. I want to see how things are when I’m not around. I want to feel like I’m wanted and that I’m loved. But the real thing I want to see is you crying as much or maybe more than the tears that I’ve cried for you. Because right now, there’s no words not even gestures could ever describe the pain I’m feeling.
Monday, February 7, 2011, 2:47 PM
Thoughts....
Hmm lately i've been thinking about what i can do in the future... a doctor or a teacher....
Both treats people... both saves people but in different ways...
A teacher is able to educate the students, correct the mindset and thus making the world a better place...
A doctor is able to cure the people and thus alleviate sufferings, making the world a better place too...
However, its hard to educate kids nowadays and make them internalise and practice what they are taught such as eating and staying healthy by exercising... it'll be useless to treat the illness but not the root cause of it which is what the doctors nowadays do... suppressing any ailments but not tackling the source of it...
Nonetheless it is also impossible to take up both roles at once...it really is tough to want to do something to help the society...probably a team comprise of an educator, researcher,doctor and not forgetting sponsors might just be able to help???
——————————————————
So far this yr's CNY is slightly better than the year before but due to the surprisingly long break, and the fact that i'm enlisting in 2 days' time, it kinda dampens the mood???
I started to prepare ( considered late) and im currently on my way to pasir ris army store to purchase additional shirt,shorts and socks lest the ones provided wouldnt dry in time...
Not really nervous nor excited but rather annoyed by it for there's so many things i want to do but its been disrupted by this....oh well....
I really hope u'll take care... probably you would have had insufficient rest during the past few days of CNY... i'm glad i managed to see u from afar one last time before i report for enlistment...not knowing whether any mishap will happen??? It's sad that i couldnt talk to you at all...nonetheless i wish u good luck in ur future endeavours and may u be happy always :)
I've nt been running for quite awhile...better do so b4 i suffer the consequences of failing IPPT haha...
Well, lucky for me that i have this phone that allows me to blog on my way to pasir ris currently otherwise i'd have to stone throughout this entirely lonely journey... hope the shop is still / has returned to opening for business....
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Saturday, January 29, 2011, 2:33 AM
leo
狮子座狮子座，一个博爱和充满阳光，能量的星座，其实狮子座的人很向往爱情，说白了就是狮子座的人最爱的是自己，他要让自己发光发热，获得别人的爱和崇敬，在这其中，他能够体会到这种来自他人的关爱而感到愉悦，于是，他就爱上了别人。。。
狮子座的人很不愿意伤害别人，因为他的内心是善良和充满正义感的，他是重视原则的人，但是，如果他做了伤害别人的事情，即便出于面子他没有说什么，但是其实内心里他会真的好自责好内疚的，虽然别人看不到，但是他的确会好难过。
狮子座的人，无论男女，都很容易陷入一份感情，但是热情来的很快，冷却的速度也快得惊人。如果他可以对一份感情持续很长的时间，那么恭喜了，说明你真的很强势很有魅力，足以让他对你死心塌地，否则，狮子座这种内在没有安全感又很敏感的动物，很可能从更有魅力和新鲜的事物上找温暖，因为，狮子座的我们看起来好坚强好阳光好乐观，但是骨子里面的不安感从未消退过，表面的自信只不过是保护自己的盔甲，但并不是很真实。
同时，狮子座的人也可以很绝情，不可能吃回头草，字典里没有'后悔'或者'回头'这两个词，因为狮子座的人很爱面子，自尊心比什么都重要，一旦放弃了或者决定了，就不可能回过头去改变，狮子座的人也很怕被伤害。宁可错过一份感情，宁可放弃。宁可不要，也不会冒可能会被伤害的危险，因为太不值得，因为狮子座的人太爱自己了。。。
狮子座的人喜欢热闹，但是也很享受孤独，他可以把这两者之间搞得很平衡，他很喜欢跟朋友一起，疯狂的玩闹，成为一个party的主角，但是回到家里，他立马就可以变得异常安静，不喜欢被打扰，他需要自己的空间来思考，如果不给狮子这个空间，对他步步紧逼，那么他一定会抓狂，变得不可理喻，他还会离开你，因为在狮子的字典里，'自由'和'自我'这两词的比重几乎占据了全部
还有，狮子座的人很喜欢新鲜的，华丽的，有质感的，昂贵的，有品位的东西，他也喜欢朴实，但是却不喜欢无聊和无趣，他害怕一成不变的枯燥，他害怕今天就能预见明天的可能性。
狮子座的人有两种不同的倾向，一种是很喜欢天然的东西，不喜欢过多的修饰；另一类是很喜欢奢华另类奇特的事物，更多是狮子座是两者兼有。
狮子座的人很宽容，通常不会因为小事而斤斤计较，他们喜欢展现自己与众不同的仁慈心和获得尊重。对于过往的爱人，狮子座的人很少去探讨是谁的功过是非，无论当时对方有多伤害自己，但是过去了就过去了，狮子座的人不会去诅咒或者怨恨，因为他们喜欢向前看。狮子座的人相信，只要自己完美和努力，幸福就在前方，更美好的一定在等待着我们！！
Thursday, January 27, 2011, 10:30 PM
Genting...Shoes...
I'm finally back from genting trip with my classmates haha...enjoyable though there's 1 particular unpleasant event which i doubt i can ever forget... imagine how you'd feel if...On the first night after you reach genting, you're hungry and the weather is really cold...Looking at the food which seems to call out to you to eat them and since they specialise in Chicken, naturally you'd want to try... And give that my friend is sick, we asked if we can have a dish where the sides are all the same...and wow...he said sorry no... =.= then he say "oh the dish only have 1 side dish" when the menu writes " 3 side dish and 1 muffin ". so we can only say okay.so i went ahead to order 1/2 Smoked BBQ chicken with mash potato,pasta salad and potato salad. 5 mins later the one who took my order came back and said sorry we don't have smoked bbq chicken anymore.Fine. so i change my order to phoenix chicken which he didn inform me it'd be 1/4 size instead of 1/2.Naturally you'd have thought it'd be 1/2 isn't it??? so came our dish and guess wad??? 2 of my friends got their chicken 1/2 sized instead of 1/4 while mine was the opposite. =.= Well,since the price would definitely differ, and we really wanted our correct orders so we explain and got a change...then this clever one told me there's no 1/2 size for phoenix chicken...WTH! fine...so i got original one instead and i clearly mention 1/2 !!!! but it came 1/4 with wrong side dishes....ROAR!!!!! ok i shan't continue...my blood will boil... yep so we went on our trip outside genting for a short while...gosh it's super cooling!! unlike Singapore's hot weather...it's really awesome...Look at the photo and you'll see how FOGGY it is = how cold it gets!
den we went to eat Baskin Robbins. Though Haagen Dazs' ice cream are still my favs but their's aint that bad too especially their Strawberry shortcake ice cream where u can really taste the crust of the Cake itself...
AWESOME!! then we went back to hotel and prepared to celebrate Aaron's birthday...EPIC...The cake u see below is a mixture of really chocolate from Awfuly Chocolate and Darlie Toothpaste haha!!
looks like really cream isn't it??? haha then the torture came when this junk was stuffed right into his mouth followed by face xD and he starts to get weary when he's given the real cake!
epic moments...
Sleep comes right after that...phew ^^
It was a freezing night despite the fact that the fan wasn't turned on! But the night was peaceful and we wake up in the morning to have BUFFET!!!!!!
Food ain't wad i expected...it's good! haha quite a quick breakfast to me though...Since it is Foggy STILL....we went out on a "hike" haha. climbing down the hill on a chilly morning after breakfast is something nice actually...a change from daily routine in SG.
see how wet our hairs are??? that's how cold the weather is such that condensation occurs!So we managed to walk back to First world hotel and slept for awhile before leaving for Mushroom FARM!!!!!!
The way the mushrooms are grown...it's exactly like those in HarvestMoon ! how cool....and at the same farm where there are food available, we had our lunch there and these are wad we ordered ^^
There's steamed fish, Chicken wings,four season beans, stir-fry mushrooms, venision stir fry with ginger and spring onions, and lastly, top-grade wok! awesome meal and it costs about 22 Rm which is less than 10Sing dollar per pax!!!After Dinner we decided to go and try out 4D Haunted house:
Not scary and doesn't feel real...but oh well?
Heh heh...Night time we did something really daring...Eating Ice cream out in the Open area when the weather is really cold at 12 degree celsius!!!! but the feeling is really good.
We went back and bathe after a long day and we went over to the girls' room for a chat and supper...gosh thinking back i feel fat but...i guess i don't really wanna care about it already since i'm going in NS really soon...we had maggie mee and we played only a round of Bluff and most of us are tired already....
KO-ed right after i lie on bed xD
Next morning woke up in a daze...lack of sleep i supposed...and right after i'm ready...i stepped out only to see the others from another 2 rooms leaving with their bags...HaHa...i was like...OMG...then the 3 of us rush back in to pack our stuff and it's done in...5mins??? haha...luckily we were quite neat on the previous few days...
Decided to have dim sums for breakfast so we went to 好友记.
See the white dessert above??? it's almond beancurd but it's way too nice...the taste of almond is not too strong and the vanilla milk blends well with it....i'm missing it already!GOSH...
It costs $80 and since someone's paying for it, dun care!!! haha it should go well with my jeans and yea i managed to get SHIROI KOIBITO AGAIN!!!!! wad a fruitful day ^^ shall go have a teaspoon of my Haagen Dazs greentea ice cream ^^
Ta-ta
Decided to have dim sums for breakfast so we went to 好友记.
See the white dessert above??? it's almond beancurd but it's way too nice...the taste of almond is not too strong and the vanilla milk blends well with it....i'm missing it already!GOSH... This breakfast last for 2hours and when we left it's already 12++ so we hang around and decided to wait till 2.15pm so we stayed at starbucks :D
After that we set off for SINGAPORE!!! i really hate the awefully long bus rides!!! but still the trip was fun despite not being able to go outdoor theme park due to the fog :(
Went back CO today and seeing my jnrs improve, i do feel relieve but they still have quite a long way to go...all the best!
I went to CS Foodjunction for dinner (alone :[ ) and i recalled not being able to buy my shoes the other day so i decided to walk around to see if i can get any...and I DID!!!!
I went to CS Foodjunction for dinner (alone :[ ) and i recalled not being able to buy my shoes the other day so i decided to walk around to see if i can get any...and I DID!!!!
It costs $80 and since someone's paying for it, dun care!!! haha it should go well with my jeans and yea i managed to get SHIROI KOIBITO AGAIN!!!!! wad a fruitful day ^^ shall go have a teaspoon of my Haagen Dazs greentea ice cream ^^
Ta-ta